Jenny Gould Therapy
CBT, Clinical Hypnotherapy, Coaching
BBC RADIO OXFORD
‘Taking Risks and Making Changes’
Jenny Gould on the afternoon show
IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO CHANGE BUT IT FEELS TOO RISKY? Would you like a new career, to start a business, a better social life, to end a relationship, move house, move country, learn a new skill or hobby? Here are a few tips …
•Are you afraid of failing? Failure is part of learning. Be positive, but realistic. What’s the worst that could happen? if doesn’t work out – it’s not the end of the world! No risk - no progress.
•Perfectionism – the impossible goal. Only willing to try if you know it will be perfect? Perfectionism makes us crazy. Forget ‘perfect’.
•What’s holding you back? Are the obstacles real or imagined?
Face your fears - don’t avoid them. Go on, be brave! You have so much more potential than you could ever realise!
•Listen to your body – is this a natural fear of change or a real ‘gut’ feeling? Fear of this kind is more likely to involve lots of mental activity, whereas a gut feeling is exactly that – a horrible heavy feeling in your gut. If it’s the latter – go with it!
•Negative beliefs - challenge that little gremlin whispering in your ear. He likes things to stay as they are! Don’t listen!
•We have more control than we think. Remember the famous prayer: ‘God give me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference’
•There are no certainties, no absolute guarantees in life. Things are constantly changing – don’t be paralysed by indecision.
•What do YOU want – are you thinking ‘I should’, ‘I ought to, ‘I have to’..? Is this what someone else wants? Who’s in the driving seat?
•Break goals down into small steps – make a plan. What can you do next week towards that goal?
•Get all the information you can. Talk to people who can help you. And ask 3 people you can trust what they think you should do.
•Write down what you want in vivid detail and imagine it often.
•Write down the advantages and the disadvantages… both for the short term and the long term
•Imagine you’ve done it. On a scale of 1-10 for each option, how does it feel?
•Look ahead. Imagine you don’t do this – how will you feel in 5 years time? They say we’re most likely to regret the things we didn’t do!